31.Jul.2010 Sexual Play Followup

Thoughts For Singles
Regarding sexual play, how far do singles go? The Song of Solomon talks much about intimate relationships and the joys of sexual encounters. It’s a fascinating book as it applies to a topic that is rarely dicussed except for in marriage seminars and counseling. This can leave singles and unmarrieds wondering what is sexually ok before marriage.

Sexual Arousal
The body is easily sexually aroused whether commitment and love are involved. Men and women are physically attracted to one another in spite of emotion and commitment. The human body can be aroused in foreplay by either sex also which leads to confusion today for some regarding their sexual leaning. A child sexually interfered with at a young age by another of the same sex may experience pleasure, fear, pain and confusion in this one encounter.

God’s Thoughts. Our Thoughts
Each believer must consider God’s thoughts regarding this topic. If we were conversing with Christ after dinner or around the campfire, what would He advise regarding this topic?

Thoughts that can help us determine our boundaries in this area are such things as: Will we face disappointment on our marriage night due to not waiting? Will we be filled with anticipation as to what is to come because we have abstained sexually? Would we feel embarrassed regarding our past and how we have treated others sexually?

Sex with one partner after marriage frees one from the comparisons to other sexual encounters. Sex with only one carries an innocence and freedom that is everlasting.

God specifically recommends our sexual abstinence before marriage. There’s good reason as it a part of the foundation for such things as trust, intimacy, and that the other is and will be your one and only. It is as written in Genesis 2. Two become one.

The Other Person
We need also consider whether our premarital sexual behavior honors the other person. While sex may bring pleasure to you, it affects another person. It takes some thing from them, that cannot be retrieved. It joins you to them in a way that adds confusion to your life and theirs.

Advice For Singles
I suggest the following to those that are willing to listen. Sex before marriage can feel great but then there is a huge letdown. One feels disappointed with themselves and with the other. This is because man and woman are not supposed to commit this act before marriage.

The problem with foreplay is that it is that. It stimulates one for more. One starts to compromise their boundaries and may even start talking marriage and commitment to justify this sexual play. Again this leads to further guilt and shame. Commitment should not be based upon sexual attraction merely but rather a compatibility that two want to do life together for many more reasons and are spiritually compatible.