Sometimes we girls have opportunities to volunteer at church, or be involved in planning events at church, while our husbands are working full-time to support our families. The following blog entry was written by one of our incredible pastors at C3 Church, Jessica Lenox, to address how we wives we can handle these situations.
When we wives are able to be more involved at church, this can bring up quite a few feelings…
We are excited. They may not be.
We are passionate. They may seem not to care.
We are consumed by projects or events at church. They have other things on their minds.
We can come to resent their feelings, think that they are not on board & look down on them.
Communication is key, not just about stuff that happens around the church, but about what is happening in our husbands world & how important they are to us. Try to at least start and end conversations with “I love you!”
We all know that people need to be seen & heard and spend our days doing that for our church family. Often we forget to bring that philosophy home with our family. Everyone needs to be listened to.
Proverbs 31:10-12 – MSG version
“A good woman is hard to find and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.”
Men feel loved by our respect. When all of us girls get together it is important for our husbands to know that we have their back and are not babbling our stuff to everyone. And if we do need to talk with someone, we choose that someONE carefully.
Part of respect is praise. I need to speak highly of my husband to others and to his face. Like Proverbs 31:12 states, we do this generously. He needs to know that we are not going to complain about him to all of our girlfriends. Generosity goes over and above. It doesn’t always match the deed. God didn’t put me in my husbands life to change him or train him. He is not my child where I come up with consequences for his actions. God does that. Life does that.
Once I have done this, my husband’s ears are open to hear me. His heart is open to what God is saying through me. Then I find the way and the time that works best for us to talk. We are a team and so we both need to get the download of what is happening at church. We use all of our resources to communicate: texts, emails, phone calls, coffee breaks, lunch during the week. And then of course date nights to reconnect.
It can’t be all work and no play. At times we get upset because our husbands have not touched the house but then we have to ask ourselves when was the last time we allowed them to touch us? The 2 are not really related except that when my husband and I are open to each other and connected we are more aware of each other’s needs. Make your marriage a priority!