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Category Archives: Marriage Goals

Marriage Goals


Unmet Expectations

In Matthew 9, there is a story of a paralytic who is brought to Jesus for healing. What he received was forgiveness for his sins. In that moment, the paralytic was faced with God not meeting his expectations.

How often are we like this paralytic—coming before God with expectations that He wants to shift? We do not see the need to shift and become stuck in our expectations like the paralytic stuck on his beggar’s matt. We want people to come take care of us in our time of need because God didn’t answer our expectations. Our paralysis grows the longer we remain in this one spot.

We can avoid this kind of existence by living with humility; this is an understanding of our flaws and our dependence upon God. When we know that our own wants and desires are fallible, we are released to forgive the injustice we feel in our lives and walk forward into a new life. We hear God’s answer—His differing answer—and we are ready to receive it and walk in it. The result is a greater life than we thought we could have when we brought to Him our expectations.

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Marriage problems can all too often stem from a simple misunderstanding of our spouse’s needs. In our marriage vows, we promise to be there for each other through all things—something that is easier said than done. Needs within a marriage differ from couple to couple and from person to person. A man’s interpretation of what is important is not the same as a woman’s. What can result from this difference is a mountain of frustration built up over time because the husband and the wife have both sought to fulfill the wrong needs.

This issue can be fixed with a determination to communicate. Communication can fix most problems in life. Ask your spouse what they need; by asking, you are showing that you genuinely care about what is important to them. Listening is the next step and the most crucial. We can ask but then not listen to the answer and still cause frustrating moments because we didn’t listen. When we listen to our spouse’s needs, we can understand what is and why it is important. Lastly, clarify the need. Do not leave room for assumption or misinterpretation. If you are confused, ask for more information.

Life is a struggle. There will always be marriage issues. Communication is not a cure-all, but it is an effective tool. If there has been a lack of communication in marriage, there may be some hurts and pent-up anger that will need to be worked out so that healing can occur in your marriage. It is better to start late than to not start at all!

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Be Still…

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalms 46:10 NKJV)

So often, we can interpret the phrase “Be still, and know that I am God” as an invitation to take a break. Rest is a good thing—who doesn’t like a little extra sleep or some time to read a book? God wants us to rest in Him, but that rest does not necessarily mean a vacation to a tropical destination; sometimes, resting in God means reflecting on His Word.


This Scripture reminds me that it is important to take time to pray and to reflect upon how God’s Word effects and changes my world. When I discipline myself to remember and apply Scripture, I begin to see the negative aspect of my soul fall away.


Instead of thinking about all the things that are going wrong in my world, I begin to see all that God has done. I move from my natural inclination to think negatively to an unnatural desire to dwell on the positive. I am reminded of the bigger picture God has for me and my life, and this reminder helps me to refocus upon my purpose within God’s framework.


The results of being still and knowing He is God is improved health in every way—from physical to spiritual. My thoughts are positive, my emotional state is healthy, I am physically ready to move forward into the next phase of God’s plan, and I am spiritually reconnected to my God.

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(Excerpt from God Sex)

Sexual love is a part of marriage, but sexual love is a lot more than intercourse and achieving an orgasm. It is lying close to another and being conscious of the other’s body even without intercourse. It is reunion after being apart, tender loving touches, and the random hug during the day. It is holding hands for no apparent reason and sharing memories while creating new thoughts for the future. It is the tentative reaching out with one’s fingers or toes after an argument while there is an ongoing awareness that one belongs to the other. These things are all a part of the sexual relationship that is vastly different from a sexual encounter to gain immediate sexual gratification.


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Balance is Key

(An excerpt from Little Shakers)

These days, children are more aware of trends and fashion, and putting money aside to cater to their fashion needs helps children establish friendships and confidence. It is horrible for children to be ignored or tormented at school due to their out of style clothing. This ridicule opens children up to feelings of low esteem and rejection, the latter being the emotion that most people fear the most.

Although it isn’t right for children to reject and torment other children in this way, it is also not right for us as parents to walk in ignorance of the pressures that our children face today. We all want to be accepted and to feel good about ourselves. In this situation as with all other parenting dilemmas, balance is the key. You don’t want your child to be spoiled, but you also want them to know that you care about how they are treated and how they feel about their appearance.

Salt and Pepper & Little Shakers - web

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