Category: Mature Marriage

17.May.2013 |

Sexual Desire

Sexual desire is cognitive—involving thoughts, wishes, fantasies, or desires—as well as physical—genital arousal.
It is also thought to be psychosexual, meaning that all of our senses get involved.

Sexual desire is not necessarily the same thing as physiological or genital sexual arousal—though it can be a component. There can be an absence of sexual activity without a lack of desire.

On the other hand, a person can engage in sexual behaviors and activities without feeling sexual desire. So many people engage in said activities so that they can feel a part of a clique with whom they hang out; however, the sexual experience leaves them disappointed.

An understanding of sexual desire and the fact that they do not need to give in to these acts just to “feel good” about themselves can help spare people the heartache that comes from premature sexual activity. (Extract from God Sex book)

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16.May.2013 |

Marriage and Sexuality

God is the Creator of mankind and made the man and woman to be united in marriage. Some in church history believe that before the Fall, there was no sexual intercourse, but this is untrue.

Regarding Adam and Eve, when they consummated their covenant, God was not horrified, because He created our bodies for sex.

The words that a man is to “be united to his wife” in Matthew 19:5 are significant in their context in the teachings of Jesus.

The Greek word translated “be united to” or “be joined to” is “proskollethesetai” and is derived from the Greek meaning “to glue or cement together or to inlay or weld.” This word is used throughout the New Testament when referring to physical and sexual conjunction, of social conjunction, and of spiritual relationship.

While marriage was created for companionship and mutual help, it was also created to fulfill the sexual natures of man and woman.

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In Psalm 139, the famous words that each person is “fearfully and wonderfully made” are written.

God’s definition of beauty is not the same as the one that we find in pop culture. He does not set us up for failure or disappointment like the media does when it parades the unrealistic images of supposed perfection in front of our eyes.

God creates variety from which we choose a partner and then He instructs us to live with this partner through the good and the bad, in our youth and old age.

In God’s eyes, each of us is magnificent regardless of the world’s standard of beauty. We need to remember that our chosen partner is one of God’s wonderful ideas and, therefore, do nothing that could damage, dishonor, or disrespect our marriage vows.

We experience dissatisfaction with our physical appearance, particularly as we age. God, though, wanted and designed both of us; therefore, each of us should dwell on our better attributes and also those of our spouse. To dwell on what we do not have or what our partner does not have only negatively impacts a marriage.

(taken from God Sex book)

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Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:3–4 that one’s sexual capacity does not exist for himself.

Masturbation teaches us to fulfill ourselves, and, as a result, we become impatient when in a relationship with another.

A masturbator does not need to think of another when seeking fulfillment. He already knows his body well and knows how to fulfill himself. It is a shallow shadow of what true intimacy and sexual fulfillment really are.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians of marital sex that we should “stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

God designed sex so that we give to and satisfy our marriage partner. It takes time to develop a good sexual relationship. We need to learn each other’s bodies and what brings our lover to sexual fulfillment.

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On the point of pornography as a relational enhancer, this thought is extremely untrue. Women feel the threat of losing their men to this unrealistic view of sex and beauty. It shakes their sense of security. There is no realistic way a normal woman of natural build can compete with the images viewed in pornography.

A woman wants to be the beauty of her man’s life. If the man is overly enjoying another woman’s looks, he is breaking her heart. It heightens her fears regarding her importance in his life and shakes her sense of security in the thought that he will still desire her after the aging process and children run their natural course on her human body.

It’s fascinating today the number of women who purchase breast lifts and enhancements. While these things are not wrong and help a woman to feel more attractive, the images that we view do influence our thinking. We compete and want to keep our man’s attention and so are willing to pay a high price to do this.

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