Posts Tagged ‘seeking God’

14.Oct.2010 |

Obsessions, Focus and Worship

Written by Jill
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What Do We Worship?
Often I faced moments of irrational fear in raising our first born son. I’d find myself obsessing with thoughts that I would lose him and so as a mom I overprotected him. While protecting a child is good, at the same time parents need to provide space for children to make their own decisions as they grow. When fear dominates a relationship rather than faith and love, it creates problems.

Letting Barn move to Australia at eighteen was a huge step but had added complications because it was at this point in time that I had to face that my life was ruled with irrational fear regarding Barnabas.

We should question the things that dominate our time, imagination, emotions and thought life. Is it a sickness, a relationship or the lack thereof? Is it a career, resentment or even jealousy? These things may reflect that which we truly worship.

True Worship
Churches often refer to the music part of a service as worship. However worship of God is about the position of our heart. “Proskuneo” is a New Testament word which translates as “worship” but it also means “to fall down before” or “bow down before.” For example rather than surrendering my hopes for Barnabas to God as a young mom I preferred to hang onto my irrational fear for my son, thinking that I could protect him better than God.

What’s Another God?
Deuteronomy 6:13-14 is written, “Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. Do not follow other gods.”

We can think that other gods are idols established by other religions. However other gods are things that consume our lives including certain emotions, material goods, a relationship or even a sickness. That upon which we dwell mostly can be that which we are worshipping. For myself as a parent I had to realize that my fear for my son was dominating my life and in a sense I worshipped fear.

Regularly I’ve had to reevaluate my focus. What am I truly worshipping? God doesn’t have a problem with us having goals but it’s a problem when we allow these to be pursuits above our worship or bowing down before Him. He is jealous for our attention and it is Him that is the source of true happiness.

Surrender Is Freeing

At times I’ve had to recheck my marriage as I’ve found that my expectations for this relationship have ruled my life. And again I have had to fight an obsession with sickness and this dominating my thought life. Every single time I have had to take hold of the truth that God has a greater plan for myself and my family and therefore I have had to lay down my agenda.

This surrender is actually freeing. There is an understanding that I no longer have to make my life happen on its own but I have a supernatural God that cares for me deeply.

Sometimes the objects that we worship are not necessarily things that bring joy. Sickness, a bad relationship or unforgiveness are all examples. We may be singing along in church but obsessing about someone that has hurt us.

We may not physically bow down to them, or lift our hands in song to them but we allow ourselves to devote our thoughts, imaginations and time to these things. In dealing with kidney disease, I had to determine that while this affected my body, it was not going to own me and that God would have His way in spite of sickness if I determined to surrender my heart to God.

The One To Worship
God knows we have an inner need to worship. He, being God, can handle the weight of being worshipped; humans cannot. And so, it’s good to regularly give yourself a heart check. Where do we spend our time? Do we obsess about a health issue or a relationship? Do we overprotect a child or harass a husband to provide emotionally for ourselves in an impossible way? These are great indications that help us reevaluate that which we worship.

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22.Sep.2010 |

Dealing with Times of Depression

Written by Jill
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True or False Thinking
Each person tends to either look at life from either a positive or negative perspective. We often have to choose to alter the way in which we think. We love to regard ourselves as seeing the truth or stating the facts. However it is the Bible that is the truth which surpasses all else including our thoughts and opinions.

Several years ago, I found myself struggling in a way that I had never before. Previously I counted myself fortunate having overcome both marital and financial issues and felt that Dean and I had built a great life together. We had two wonderful children and the best church ever. Dean battled Crohn’s disease but lived a full and happy life. I therefore assumed that ill health would never be mine.

Bad Situations
Five years ago my life took on new meaning. After a cancer scare, repeated nausea took me through a series of tests that resulted in the diagnosis of kidney disease. Restrictions included change of diet, limitted exercise where there was no possibity of getting hit or falling, no travel, a restricted life span, heavy medication and no known cure.

While my specialist thought that I took the news well, I’d hate to see other’s reactions. I felt numb, frightened, confused, constantly teary and unable to focus. To me I had lost the right to make decisions and choices and I felt that I had no control of my life. When in this state it is also difficult to hear others or to find comfort in those that you love and love you. Dean felt helpless in being able to help me. Apart from kidney disease I now found myself fighting depression.

Depression and the Inner Man
Many deal with depression today due to disappointments which come through disease, death, and the loss of relationships, work or finances. Regarding depression it is nice to think that one can take a pill and that the woes of life will disappear. Unfortunately life’s disappointments are not merely a physical, scientific or chemical issue but commonly include problems in the inner man or heart. Depression does not distinguish between the happy or serious, the creative or greatly driven person. It can affect any one.

However depression does not have to rule one’s life. Many Bible greats faced depression and yet they remain Bible greats. God does not look with shame on the depressed. Nor should we.

Helping the Depressed
The positive with depression is that change can occur. Even if we take medication there are changes that can be made. The depressed can choose to change. Healing means that in our believing for healing we take responsibility for change. There are character changes that can be made.

Several decisions were made by myself at this horribly emotional time.

1. I had to own my emotions. Tough call but I had to cry, stop, cry again and stop, move on and be responsible. I had to choose to break out and physically move despite emotional pain and numbness.

2. I sought a second opinion where I was sad to discover that the first diagnosis was correct but that several of the restrictive life changes could be adjusted. (consequently am writing this mid-flight. So much for no travel.)

3. I got brave enough to face the fact that I needed medication to enable myself to get through this. And then went back again to change this medication when finding that I did not enjoy the zombie like state of existence.

4. When the shock wore off and I was established with a breakfast of drugs for every day I sought God Scripturally to get revelation for this new life of mine. Depression often finds one deeply questioning God since for me I felt tricked by God. So often we hang onto a goal so tightly that we have to rethink. Am I pursuing God or a goal? What’s my number one?

5. God doesn’t lie. His promises are true whether I have a disease or not. I determined that I would live to my utmost despite kidney disease. Yes physical healing is important but I also know the importance of remaining focussed on God rather than becoming obsessed with the healing of a disease.

6. I had to get humble. We can be so driven by visions and goals, we can become driven by our sense of achievement. Even though I want a long and fruitful life, I understand that there is a time to live and die. To face serious illness is an opportunity to examine our mortality and also the power of the Almighty God.

7. I determine that I will not live as a victim and I have many friends that encourage and inspire me. I choose to be in church often and omit other things from my life that are less important. To not be in church is comparable to not taking the sick to the doctor. The depressed and diseased need the church more than ever.

8. I listen and allow my husband to guide my life. (most of the time!) When he says it’s time to rest, it’s time to rest.

9. It is rare that a day passes without exercise.

10. I do not attempt to test my healing by playing around with my medications but default to my doctor for this and keep my checkups regular.

Many fight depression due to life’s disappointments and yet sometimes the reasons for our fight are ugly. Pride, unforgiveness, judgment and bitterness are just a few reasons. All are symptoms of an unsurrendered life. We cry out to a healing God but often fail to recognize changes that would actually help us on the path for healing.

As previously stated, there are character changes that we can make that are a part of our healing. God has given us an incredible capacity for change.

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17.Sep.2010 |

Disappointment and Whom Do We Blame

Written by Jill
2 Comments

In life most people will experience disappointment. Believers are no less a victim of this. We face the onslaughts of relationship battles, sickness, death, financial loss and aging amongst other things. We often think that others removed from our circle of friendships face less battles. This usually is a false perception. Every one faces disappointments.

The Disappointed Life
In Proverbs 13:12 it is written, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” God knows man’s nature. This means that man should communicate with God concerning his disappointments. If not we tend to falsely blame others including the church. There are many churches that have commenced out of one’s complaints and disillusion rather than vision.

When we are disappointed we tend to view life through this lens. We judge others and see the negatives of life rather than the positives. We gather with others that are like minded which only further fuels our pain. We return from a church service and pick holes in the message rather than seeing things of significance – a relevant scripture, someone’s breakthrough or the salvations that took place.

However faith is released out of hope rather than complaint. And so it is necessary that we decide to break out of the state of complaint.

Maturing Christianity
Maturing as believers means that we are willing to become responsible for our lives. To want something out of life means that we own the responsibility of acquiring this desire.

Maturing Christianity defaults to a bigger picture rather than our own wants. Mark says in his gospel in Mark 6:15, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” How easy it is to forget this primary purpose. It is not a natural thing for most of us but generally it is hard work. However when we refocus according to the Bible, suddenly life takes on new meaning.

Maturing Christianity means that when life is not moving according to plan, we shift our vision and are flexible.

Maturing Christianity means that we allow God to grow us into adulthood spiritually rather than wanting to remain a child. We take responsibility for our concerns and minimize blame elsewhere.

Maturing Christianity understands that we as adults realize that our attitudes and words are shaping our children.

Maturing Christianity recognizes the perils of bitterness and jealousy and therefore determines to squash these feelings in favor of cheering others on. Maturing is tolerant, loving and patient. Paul writes to Timothy in 1 Timothy 6:12, instructing him to “fight the good fight.” Therefore we must determine to fight that which is of eternal value. To give in only leads to further disappointments in life. Determine to fight for the future. The past is finished except for the lessons that we can learn for today.

Determining Change
When we blame others for our lives, we default from our responsibilities. God told Adam and Eve to not eat of only one tree in Genesis 2:15. And yet they did eat of this tree. We then see Adam and Eve blame each other when God gave each an opportunity to take responsibility for their sin.

Yes other people do affect our lives and unfairness exists. However God at our salvation gave all two essential ingredients that empower us to move beyond disappointment no matter the dilemma. These are faith in Him and the choice to believe His promises. Life will present disappointments but no one can take these ingredients from us.

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